My dog has no game

I thought an invisible person was making noises in my room and then I realized it was somebody snoring out on the couch.

I found maggots in the kitchen, I found a worm in the shower that turned out to be a broken black hair tie, I had sesame flavored boba.

I'm going out sleepwalking

I bought a new bike seat. The salesman asked me what type of riding it is for and I said "for going to places."